So my lovely blog readers. It is official. It was official in my mind last week when I posted about it, but it's finally official between me and boyfriend both. I officially broke up with him tonight. He has not been fully on board with all of it. He for some reason thinks that we should stay together and continue to be unhappy and perpetuate this forever and ever I guess.
But... I am putting My Best Life and my happiness first and knowing that although it will be a very hard transition and they will be very sad about it, I am ultimately putting my kids' happiness first. I'm sure that won't make sense to some of you, and I'm sure that it will make sense to others. I know that there are a lot of people who believe you should work things out for your children no matter what (we weren't officially married but we may as well have been, and he is the father to my son and my daughters consider him a step-father) but I feel like I tried and tried and tried probably way longer than I would have to make it work because of the kids, and now at this point I feel like it is going to be better for my kids to have a happier mom who isn't arguing all the time. I'd love to hear your thoughts on that little conundrum, ladies! :)
OK I need to talk about something happier. I am very excited about something else going on in my life!!! I have (I think... crossing fingers nothing changes between now and Saturday!) successfully planned a playdate activity outing between my 2 daughters and 1 friend each. This may sound like something goofy to get excited over, but I promise you, it's exciting to me and will be sooo exciting to them!!
Because of Liv's ADHD she has always had a little bit of a problem in the friend area (she's only 6... there's hope for her yet... but it's what we've dealt with up until this point.) She is friendly to EVERYONE but has trouble understanding boundaries and with impulse control so she can sometimes be a little off putting to other girls her age who tend to be more reserved in their playing together. This in addition to the fact that we've never really lived near a lot of kids her age so she hasn't had the chance to meet neighbor kids and that kind of thing have prevented her from having too many playdates. And the ones she has had have been just a few random last minute things at my mom's house where she gets off the bus from school and where a girl in her class lives near. And she and this girl fight like cats and dogs most of the time. LOL.
Ava has the total opposite problem. Everyone LOVES Ava at preschool. Everyone wants her to be their best friend, wants to sit next to her, wants to come over to her house or her to theirs, etc. It's a little hard because Liv of course notices that and I know she wishes that kind of thing happened to her more often. My fingers are crossed that it yet will... But I digress... Anyway... Ava is closest to one little girl in her class and the two of them are always asking for playdates.
So because my girls are only about a year and a half apart there is a lot of sibling rivalry there. Although I could plan separate playdates I really don't feel like dealing with the fallout of only letting one of the girls invite someone over. (Neither of them have ever actually had an official playdate at our house now that I think about it!) So I thought I would invite Ava's best little friend and the girl that Olivia sits next to in class who appears to be the one she plays with the most over for a playdate. And then I started worrying about the sets of 2 arguing with each other or worse still, Livs friend glomming on to Ava (which has been known to happen) and Liv getting her heart broken.
So my solution to that was that we are going to have an "outing" playdate! I haven't fully decided yet what we're going to do. I know going out for pizza is going to somehow be involved. :) Aside from that I'm still undecided. I am debating on what we should do... either a movie, or possibly bowling, or possibly some sort of arcade type thing... or something else all together? I'd LOVE to hear your suggestions, blogger!
I am really excited about the playdate no matter what we end up doing. I'm so excited to do this for the girls and I really hope that it is only the first of many fun friend activities and playdates that we have in our future.
Obviously things in my life are going to be harder from now on, but I'm ready to take on the challenge (I think!). I've been a single mom before with a 2 1/2 year old and a 1 year old and it was nearly impossible. Now I'm a single mom of a 6 1/2, almost 5, and almost 1 1/2 year old. It seems like a task too daunting to even try to figure out how I'm going to do it at this point. But we'll muddle our way through it until we get a new groove going in our life.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
I've Been Gone But Now I'm Back!
Ooohhh blog. I have neglected you the past few days. Please forgive me. I have been very sleepy, very busy, and very just kind of... blah. The first week back at work reeaaaalllly drained me. By Friday I was wondering... how the heck do people make it through the day without naps? I have to tell you, if I had to rate my top 10 favorite things, naps would take up two of the spots. Couch naps (my fave) and bed naps (sometimes just too perfect). I didn't get to take any naps this week. :*( That's me... shedding a little tear.
The aftermath of ice-pocalypse still remains. The sidewalks have a pretty continual layer of about 4" of ice on them and no matter how often someone (generally my mom or dad) shovels and salts my front steps (the infamous steps that I slipped on to begin with 6 weeks ago!) and walk, it still quickly builds up again. Either we have more freezing rain and snow and freezing rain on top of that, or the constant icicles that hang from my eaves drip and freeze instantly. It's been SUPER fun. Whenever I leave with my mom she practically carries me to the car. I don't know if it's more because she's just worried about my well being or that she can't bear the thought of having to help me so much again now that I am almost healed. LOL
I've been trying to stay away from my house as much as possible the past few days. The girls were at their dad's last night and as it happens they had a sleepover planned at my mom's tonight and my dad wanted to keep them Thursday night so that has been helpful. They've been here most of the time through the day but gone at night. They love "sleepover parties" (as they call them) with Grammy or Papa so that is great. Ever since my official last straw, boyfriend still hasn't actually left. He just comes home and goes upstairs and doesn't talk to anyone (not even the kids) and avoids all confrontation, but he doesn't leave. Hence me trying to stay away from the house. I am really not wanting to have to deal with that situation more than I already have... I guess I've been putting it off (obviously I've been putting it off for well over a year now... but even more so these past few days.) A fellow blogger posted the funniest comment on my last post about making sure he doesn't slip on the ice on his way out the door. LOL! My mom would LOVE that comment.
The girls cheered at their little youth association basketball game today. That never gets old for me, I swear. It's just so funny and cute to watch these little girls do their cheers. And Ava cracks up anyone within shouting distance because her little 4 year old body, having been told that "cheerleaders are loud so the boys can hear them while they're playing" screams the cheers out way louder than everyone else on the squad. And it's hilarious. Love it. :)
This is the halftime show. LOL. If you start with the tall girl with glasses in the back my two are the blond in front of her and the brunette in front of her. Smiling and cheering. So freaking cute! :) It's unfortunate because the uniforms are SOOO cute but for some reason they all didn't come in on time and something went wrong with the order so they ended up cancelling the order and ordering these little t shirts and shorts last minute. They're still cute but... it's not exactly the full effect. Olivia cheered for football last year and the youth athletic cheer association uses the same uniforms for every sport, every team, so as to keep costs down for the parents, so this is what they all would look like if they were all in uniform:
I know, right? :) I just break into a huge grin whenever I see one of these pics.
The girls made cookies last night at a "sleepover party" at Grammy's. I was there for a little bit with Brody but we couldn't stay too long... Brody is a path of destruction and also a carbo/sugar freak so he basically just spent the entire hour we were there trying to barrel through everything in an attempt to get to the cookies. I was there long enough to decorate a few cookies, though. As I was messily (not on purpose) frosting a cookie I looked around at what we had produced so far and said, "How in the heck do people do this and make it look nice and neat? We are clearly not that talented." Not that this was news to me, but it's just kind of funny to see our cookies knowing what people with that talent can do. My mom noted that we won't be opening any cute cupcake or bake shops anytime soon. LOL
So back to my blog's whole raison d'etre. Because of a mixture of my ridiculous sleepiness, my ridiculous situation with boyfriend, and the 82,000 other things that have been going on the past few days I haven't posted in 3 days. So let me catch you all up a little bit on what I've been doing to Live My Best Life over the past 3 days.
Thursday I started organizing a "cookbook" or sorts of some yummy looking healthy recipes I've been collecting lately. It seems like I'm always seeing something in a magazine or online and tearing it out or printing it out and then losing the scraps of paper within about 7.5 minutes. And I have a bunch of cookbooks that I find a lot of recipes I want to try but when it comes down to picking something to make for dinner I never know what recipe I found in which book so I just end up not looking for anything at all and sticking with what I know. But I really need to expand my repetoire. I need to find more healthy meals that taste good that I can get the kids to eat and also things I can eat myself that won't throw me off my goals. So I got myself a nice little photo album... you know, the old kind with the sticky pages? And I started filling it with different recipes. I went through my cookbooks and just tore out what I wanted to try and found some of the others I've been holding back and stuck them all in the book. I'm keeping it out on my counter! I need to try and make myself use it! :)
Friday (and actually a little bit on Saturday) I worked with my mom on the project that I'm keeping a secret from everyone for the time being. We actually made quite a bit of good progress and also found a few more options that might help make it work out for me. I know this is all very cryptic but I'm very anxious about this falling apart before my eyes so I just really feel like I need to keep it under my belt for now. But I am spending quite a bit of time working toward this goal so I have to update my blog in some way so you don't think I'm just shirking my committment! I'm really hoping to be able to say more within the week, or maybe 2 on the outside. I also am hoping that is not serious wishful thinking on my part that things will fall into place that quickly! :)
Saturday (in addition to the "secret" project) I spent some time reconnecting with a couple of my best friends. I am so lucky that I became close with a group of 7 other girls when we were in high school and to this day, all these years later, we are all still very close. All but one of us actually still live (or live again) in the same town where we went to school, but we still don't get the chance to see each other very often because of our lives... kids, jobs, kid's sports and activities, relationships, etc... keep us pretty busy but I really cherish the few times when we get to get together and catch up some. And I know all the other "girlies" feel the same way.
Today probably the biggest thing I did to Live My Best Life was to stay away (for the most part!!) from the cookies we made last night! LOL Actually that's not completely true. The best thing I did for myself today was to thoroguhly enjoy moview night with my kiddos. Yes, the Super Bowl was on tonight. No, I didn't watch it. No, I don't care. :) When I picked the girls up from my mom's this morning they were very excited to tell me that Enchanted would be on tv tonight and Grammy told them they could watch it and, could they? could they? LOL. So I made dinner for the kiddies and we all got our jammies on and hunkered down for a pretty cute movie. Even Brody was "enchanted" by it a little bit. (hahaha sorry about the awful pun!) The girls really loved being able to stay downstairs with me in the living room and watch a movie together. That made it realy great for me. :)
OK in closing... Glee tonight was AWESOME... except that I'm not at all thrilled about this Finn/Quinn developement. I'm team Finchel all the way!!!
The aftermath of ice-pocalypse still remains. The sidewalks have a pretty continual layer of about 4" of ice on them and no matter how often someone (generally my mom or dad) shovels and salts my front steps (the infamous steps that I slipped on to begin with 6 weeks ago!) and walk, it still quickly builds up again. Either we have more freezing rain and snow and freezing rain on top of that, or the constant icicles that hang from my eaves drip and freeze instantly. It's been SUPER fun. Whenever I leave with my mom she practically carries me to the car. I don't know if it's more because she's just worried about my well being or that she can't bear the thought of having to help me so much again now that I am almost healed. LOL
I've been trying to stay away from my house as much as possible the past few days. The girls were at their dad's last night and as it happens they had a sleepover planned at my mom's tonight and my dad wanted to keep them Thursday night so that has been helpful. They've been here most of the time through the day but gone at night. They love "sleepover parties" (as they call them) with Grammy or Papa so that is great. Ever since my official last straw, boyfriend still hasn't actually left. He just comes home and goes upstairs and doesn't talk to anyone (not even the kids) and avoids all confrontation, but he doesn't leave. Hence me trying to stay away from the house. I am really not wanting to have to deal with that situation more than I already have... I guess I've been putting it off (obviously I've been putting it off for well over a year now... but even more so these past few days.) A fellow blogger posted the funniest comment on my last post about making sure he doesn't slip on the ice on his way out the door. LOL! My mom would LOVE that comment.
The girls cheered at their little youth association basketball game today. That never gets old for me, I swear. It's just so funny and cute to watch these little girls do their cheers. And Ava cracks up anyone within shouting distance because her little 4 year old body, having been told that "cheerleaders are loud so the boys can hear them while they're playing" screams the cheers out way louder than everyone else on the squad. And it's hilarious. Love it. :)
This is the halftime show. LOL. If you start with the tall girl with glasses in the back my two are the blond in front of her and the brunette in front of her. Smiling and cheering. So freaking cute! :) It's unfortunate because the uniforms are SOOO cute but for some reason they all didn't come in on time and something went wrong with the order so they ended up cancelling the order and ordering these little t shirts and shorts last minute. They're still cute but... it's not exactly the full effect. Olivia cheered for football last year and the youth athletic cheer association uses the same uniforms for every sport, every team, so as to keep costs down for the parents, so this is what they all would look like if they were all in uniform:
I know, right? :) I just break into a huge grin whenever I see one of these pics.
The girls made cookies last night at a "sleepover party" at Grammy's. I was there for a little bit with Brody but we couldn't stay too long... Brody is a path of destruction and also a carbo/sugar freak so he basically just spent the entire hour we were there trying to barrel through everything in an attempt to get to the cookies. I was there long enough to decorate a few cookies, though. As I was messily (not on purpose) frosting a cookie I looked around at what we had produced so far and said, "How in the heck do people do this and make it look nice and neat? We are clearly not that talented." Not that this was news to me, but it's just kind of funny to see our cookies knowing what people with that talent can do. My mom noted that we won't be opening any cute cupcake or bake shops anytime soon. LOL
So back to my blog's whole raison d'etre. Because of a mixture of my ridiculous sleepiness, my ridiculous situation with boyfriend, and the 82,000 other things that have been going on the past few days I haven't posted in 3 days. So let me catch you all up a little bit on what I've been doing to Live My Best Life over the past 3 days.
Thursday I started organizing a "cookbook" or sorts of some yummy looking healthy recipes I've been collecting lately. It seems like I'm always seeing something in a magazine or online and tearing it out or printing it out and then losing the scraps of paper within about 7.5 minutes. And I have a bunch of cookbooks that I find a lot of recipes I want to try but when it comes down to picking something to make for dinner I never know what recipe I found in which book so I just end up not looking for anything at all and sticking with what I know. But I really need to expand my repetoire. I need to find more healthy meals that taste good that I can get the kids to eat and also things I can eat myself that won't throw me off my goals. So I got myself a nice little photo album... you know, the old kind with the sticky pages? And I started filling it with different recipes. I went through my cookbooks and just tore out what I wanted to try and found some of the others I've been holding back and stuck them all in the book. I'm keeping it out on my counter! I need to try and make myself use it! :)
Friday (and actually a little bit on Saturday) I worked with my mom on the project that I'm keeping a secret from everyone for the time being. We actually made quite a bit of good progress and also found a few more options that might help make it work out for me. I know this is all very cryptic but I'm very anxious about this falling apart before my eyes so I just really feel like I need to keep it under my belt for now. But I am spending quite a bit of time working toward this goal so I have to update my blog in some way so you don't think I'm just shirking my committment! I'm really hoping to be able to say more within the week, or maybe 2 on the outside. I also am hoping that is not serious wishful thinking on my part that things will fall into place that quickly! :)
Saturday (in addition to the "secret" project) I spent some time reconnecting with a couple of my best friends. I am so lucky that I became close with a group of 7 other girls when we were in high school and to this day, all these years later, we are all still very close. All but one of us actually still live (or live again) in the same town where we went to school, but we still don't get the chance to see each other very often because of our lives... kids, jobs, kid's sports and activities, relationships, etc... keep us pretty busy but I really cherish the few times when we get to get together and catch up some. And I know all the other "girlies" feel the same way.
Today probably the biggest thing I did to Live My Best Life was to stay away (for the most part!!) from the cookies we made last night! LOL Actually that's not completely true. The best thing I did for myself today was to thoroguhly enjoy moview night with my kiddos. Yes, the Super Bowl was on tonight. No, I didn't watch it. No, I don't care. :) When I picked the girls up from my mom's this morning they were very excited to tell me that Enchanted would be on tv tonight and Grammy told them they could watch it and, could they? could they? LOL. So I made dinner for the kiddies and we all got our jammies on and hunkered down for a pretty cute movie. Even Brody was "enchanted" by it a little bit. (hahaha sorry about the awful pun!) The girls really loved being able to stay downstairs with me in the living room and watch a movie together. That made it realy great for me. :)
OK in closing... Glee tonight was AWESOME... except that I'm not at all thrilled about this Finn/Quinn developement. I'm team Finchel all the way!!!
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